Online Dating SNAFUs

snafuHere are a few online dating incidents that came up recently that highlight just how small the dating pool is in our region.

1)       Dude #1 sent me a “cut and paste” email that you can tell he sends to all new woman, aka Fresh Meat, on the site.  I ignored it due to its glaring lack of authenticity. He emailed me a 2nd time a few days later with a real email referencing a few things I’d written in my profile, and I considered responding BUT ran it by Leilani for a second pair of eyes. She IMMEDIATELY and EMPHATICALLY told me to not respond to this one EVER. Why? Well, for starters, 5 of the 6 photos on his profile are at least 5 years old. How do we know? 5 years ago he emailed Leilani with the same profile. When she responded back, he had the audacity to ask her how much she weighed and her jeans size because he figured all women lied about their weight and used doctored photos. How ironic.  He then emailed a 3rd time saying that he’d reached out before and wanted to throw a Hail Mary to see if we could get together for a drink. That was the point where I scrutinized his photos one last time and noticed that the ONE new picture he had included the guy I had lunch with 2 days prior….and I really liked the lunch guy!!  FYI, I’m not posting about the lunch guy just yet. If he turns out to be datable I don’t want to mess it up with a public narrative.  Might scare off the GOOD one!

2)       The Innocent Wink: While using the wink feature on Match may seem like a good idea, it can backfire when you wink at a girl who is BFF’s with the girl you screwed over royally last summer. I took the high road and emailed him and let him know my friendship with Leilani and informed him that we don’t share. No sloppy seconds EVER. I then wished him well with his search.  Mr. Love ‘em and Leave ‘em didn’t have the balls to respond.

3)      One of Leilani’s former flames from last year and I are connections on Linked In. He posted a professional article there that I “liked”, which prompted him to send me an email to say Hi, to let me know he saw my profile on the dating site and was sorry that I had broken up with my year+ long boyfriend. I emailed a nice note back, not expecting anything back. I mean, seriously, what could we possibly talk about?  Lament why she dumped him completely out of the blue? Please understand that our girl Leilani does nothing without good reason. There were reasons, alright, but none that you can outright tell a guy. What are you going to say? “Um, it’s totally you, not me.”? Well, apparently he had something to discuss with me. He emailed again and asked if I wanted to get together for a drink sometime. Instance #2 when the Sloppy Seconds rule is being invoked. Never underestimate the strength of a friendship, boys.  Remember girls, Chicks before Dicks.


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